wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Come see our sink grown plant.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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