I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
