i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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