I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
