he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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