this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
