the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
No subtext here. People are naked.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
