Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
