Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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