out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
