That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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