He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
