My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
