i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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