Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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