People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
