Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
