is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
