True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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