Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
