I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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