i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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