I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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