People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
