Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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