So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
