let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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