How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
that may or may not have been my penis.
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