Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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