We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
