I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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