i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
