I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
