i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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