Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
