I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
