Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
