Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
