If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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