the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
