Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
