Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My room smells like vodka and shame
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
