after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
