Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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