Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
