If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize