I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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