I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I DEMAND FORESKIN
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
