There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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