I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
