So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
