Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
