Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
