it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just gargled with NyQuil
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
