you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
