Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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