I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
