Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
