I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
