I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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