brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
