apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
