He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
