Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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