I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
