morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
